(The following song, sung to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance, was written in 1986, shortly before I graduated from Oberlin College with the world's first major in the study of humor. The official title of my major was "The Interdisciplinary Analysis of Humor" and involved investigations into the physiology of laughter, and the role of humor in psychotherapy-but most of my classmates just thought I watched cartoons all day...)
In high school I was interested in music and psychology,
And theater, mathematics, social studies and biology.
My teachers back in high school, if they'd done a bit of waggerin'
Never would have guessed the subject that I chose to major in...
I am the very model of a college major humorous.
My reasons for becoming one are various and numerous.
Jerry Falwell speculates that evil demons got to me.
And doctors say I could be cured with just a small lobotomy;
And Grandma says my screws came loose when I was vegetarian.
And therapists have tried to use conditioning Skinnerian.
And Oberlin professors claim they like behaviors radical;
But while I was on campus, they all fought for a sabbatical!
They simply state my line of work is frivolous not scholarly.
But accusations such as these don't make me "melancholarly."
As far as college majors go, since most are unemployable...
You might as well select one that's at very least enjoyable!
Though people that I meet might sneer.
And people from my past laugh.
I'll bet that in the future,
It is I who'll get the last laugh.